Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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