You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
