I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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