Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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