garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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