White coat. Heels.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
