Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
