You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you win again, gameday.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
