Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
