This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
