I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my poor anus
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
