Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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