I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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