So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
