By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well I just put wine in my tea
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
