Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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