you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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