Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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