Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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