U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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