We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
