you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
