you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
