omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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