She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
