Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love having hate sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
