Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize