i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
