This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
