yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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