Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
