; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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