i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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