i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
