Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
