She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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