You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
