I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
NoShamevember. You game?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
