Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
