Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
