dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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