you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yo dont text me then not text me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize