you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
