rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
