apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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