What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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