I wannas sexs uuuuu
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
