Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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