guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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