woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
