Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
