wakey wakey hands off snakey
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
