KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
