I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
