I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
