I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
