OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
