she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
