need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
