i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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