she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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