i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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