porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize