He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
